Being in the Eye of God

The words are stumbly attempting to describe the vision and the feeling that’s been oscillating for several days.  I keep hearing, “the Eye of God.”  It’s like it’s just in the background to remind me of something and most of the time I don’t even hear it.  But then, suddenly today, it grabbed a hold of me and didn’t want to let go.

Again, struggling to put the words, the feelings, the very notion that WE, you, I, ARE God.  This weekend I meandered like a child through a magical landscape.  With my husband, we traversed off the path between rocky hilltops, pine and oak forests and savanna-like brush.  My husband saying, “I feel like I’m in Africa.”  We could be.  We could be anywhere.

I felt the presence of the elementals that created this Earth.  The lion and lioness energy calling to us from the brush.  The birds darting in and out of the trees as I caught a glimpse of their streaking current flooding the forest with vibration.  And down below the horizon we walked, the whales and dolphins churning and melding the ancient song of our history.

Then, there was us like the Adam and Eve of the new world.  Are the chords broken from the old?  Can the new song be sung NOW?

At some point along our walk, we came across a tree with white, feathery seeds.  It reminded me of the tree of souls in Avatar.  The tree seemed to be reaching out to us–whispering to us that we are dancing in the magic of God.

At the sight of this tree, I had several activations.  The first was a memory.  Late fall last year I came to see white, feathery seeds (ones like dandelion seeds) as a sign that God was communicating with me.  I don’t even remember how I came to this conclusion, but it stuck.

Now and again, even in winter (I swear it!), when I’d be deep in thought a seed would float by.  There goes God, I would think.  This momentous moment would give me exactly what I needed–a pause from the mental chatter, clarity of purpose and sometimes the answer I was seeking.

As I remembered what the seeds meant to me, I heard myself ask this question, “But what is God’s Will?”  I have learned that when these questions pose themselves to me, I am about to receive the answer.

In the winter when I was standing in the silence of the woods at the edge of a pond that managed to remain unfrozen, I heard, “Now, this is God’s Will.”  Such clarity and feeling came over me.  The pond wanting to be a pond, an unfrozen one, in fact, IS the impulse of God naturalizing in front of me.

It is easy for me to know God’s Will in nature for nature is in complete union with God’s Will.  But how does oneself come into that divine will?

There have been so many distractions placed onto us and created by us that knowing God’s Will hasn’t been easy.  I no longer harbor anger that we have been manipulated to not know God’s Will, but it is the case.  Part of the journey for me has been to forgive myself, others and the world for all of these manipulations.

It is through Amazing Grace–”I once was blind, but now I see”–that we can discover God’s Will.  So, when this question occurred to me, the blinders came off.  There is such a startling sensation when you “see” what it is that you are witnessing.  I had found God’s tree where all of my wishes, dreams, yearnings, and prayers were flourishing into seed.  These seeds were floating all around me.  I was walking through God’s world of divine will.

I felt an easing inside and heard another question, “What if it was all meant to be?  The pain, the suffering, the agony, the darkness, the blindness…so that we would one day find ourselves walking in God’s world?”

I think I am almost ready to accept all of that.  There is still so much crescendo-ing going on around me and some inside me that total peace isn’t here yet.  But I had this feeling that the dust does settle after the storm.  It is then that a clear blue sky opens up, and we are standing in the Eye of God.

Already that day feels like a memory from a heaven-like world that I’m not even sure existed.  I can write about it today, but as I look at it in my mind’s eye, we are in a snow globe.  There are seeds dancing around us like fairies, lions and lionesses resting in the brush and two human souls dancing the infinite dance inside a snow globe, inside the Earth, inside the galaxy and inside the space beyond.